falling

god isn’t anywhere

but in the looking

when we seek her

self isn’t in the person

but in the relation

that we create

and trust isn’t in the outcome

but in the falling

perpetually

and eternally

towards something

you’re not quite sure is there

 

there’s gap that i can’t quite fathom that rests somewhere between the eternal and the finite, and the only reason i know it’s there is because i’ve tasted it during restless nights.

it’s something that has no existence without movement, but in itself it is still. when you reach for a glass your arm is still the same arm, floating from one location to another. but in this action you have created a dance in space, this flowing moving shimmering thing that wasn’t there before

what is that

there are big decisions to make and i don’t really know whether i’d call it fate or fear honestly i don’t know the difference between the two because both are beliefs in a future only we can see

 

there’s a feeling that you can only know in the split second before you dive off a cliff. you’re standing on the edge of the definite. you peer over and face the unknown and in its eyes you form this trust that it will catch you. you learn to trust in the unknown and in this action it becomes the known. and before you know it you’re

falling

and falling

into limbo

through limbo

and after that

where do you go

this space that takes on a shape of it’s own

falling through non-existence but by existing there you transform it

or are transformed by it

i don’t know the difference

 

you’re walking through a labyrinth where each stone falls the second your toes leave it

and each new step is formed only when you let go of the conviction it will be there

you let go of it and because of this you give it the freedom to be there

if you’re holding onto something it can’t exist anywhere

but when your mind is blank you become the alchemist

and allow every possible realm to exist

 

guess the only choice is

where do we go

from here

?

 

your toes have left the stone and you’re falling off the cliff

and it’s this!

this movement is the trust

it’s the arm floating towards the cup

because the only way you can touch the water

is to move eternally towards it

with no expectation you’ll reach it

 

will neptune catch you in his depths?

 

 

how do you explain the inexplicable?

you don’t.

 

you just fall