running in circles circles circles circles circles
things i should be doing:
- meditating
- yoga
- staying present
- not spending so much
- reading
- calling my parents
- taking my own advice
been feeling like time is moving round in circles these days cause i’m on top for a while but then spiral down the side and no matter what i am never still. time moves fast and so do i but this means i rarely get a chance to face the girl in the mirror and when i do she’s out of breath and can’t speak guess you’ll have to wait til next week
if you make art for other people then it’s not really art because you’re not being genuine you’re acting in ego with the desire for validation – your art is just manipulation
i’m not sure how to be me again
RECOVERY:
I was walking down the street today and it felt like someone else was moving my legs right now I’m not sure whose in my head cause my face looks different and the world looks different but I think it’s just the middle of the year filling my bones with fear and I’m terrified that all this time I thought I was moving forward I was just pushing myself closer to where I was before and I don’t want to relapse
the oceans are restless at this time of year I’ve been swelling and rising but something’s been hiding
I think it’s time for a low tide
“IF YOU FILL UP THESE PAGES YOU WILL FEEL WHOLE”
ego keeps whisperin lies in my ear and it’s difficult not to obey when I believe it’s really me
in disguise just remember every time you think to be somewhere else that’s not you
– you get to choose
i don’t remember the last time i cried
this is not the end you get to constantly begin again // be compassionate to yourself when you’re feeling like someone else // this will pass
reprisal:
things may seem uncertain when you’re travelling around the ouroboros rings
but that’s only because you’re expecting permanency from inherently temporary things
<333 