i haven’t written a favourites post since february when i first moved into my new apartment and everything tasted like poetry and expensive coffee.
i have a bad habit of idealising places. i attach mindsets to the tangible and convince myself that the physical incites the mental. some sorta quasi-epiphenomenon. i’m not sure, i didn’t pay attention during that part of philosophy. my point is, last time i wrote a favourites post i still felt a sense of ‘newness’ incited by being in a different place. that’s since passed.
right now things are in transit. that’s the first word that came to mind so it’s probably right. it feels like i’ve packed things in boxes and i’m about to travel cross country.. but i’m not really going anywhere. at least that i’ve planned.
winter is always tough for me. it’s still and i feel small. but it’s almost over and i’ve almost made it through. so here are some things that’ve helped along the way:
- emptying your savings account to buy another poetry anthology so that when you’re emotional at 3am you can read neruda until you fall asleep. this will either make you feel better or only add to the melodramatic mood. either way you will feel like life is surreal. savour these feelings.
- frequenting the same coffee shop. it takes a while to find The One, but once you do it becomes like a second home. i’m probably too broke to be buying coffee everyday, but i’m also too romantic not to. there’s something about having this routine that makes me feel like Patti Smith, curled up in the back of a cafe, observing, writing. i tried to drink a long black once (like she does). for now, i’ll take a soy mocha thanks.
- wearing all black. black jeans, black turtle neck, black corduroy jacket. it’s the classic philosopher’s outfit. best paired with some slim shades and a ‘fuck you’ attitude with a side of pseudo-intellectual pretension.
- making a playlist for every mood. playing it loudly while you’re in the shower, or washing up, on putting on your make up, or drinking your cup of tea in the morning. whatever the mood, my playlists tend to include at least one song from frank, milo, solange and blood orange.
- sitting in parks. i stumbled upon one with a friend and i’ve been going there every few days just to be outside. last time i was there a girl sat next to me and we gave some dalmatians dog treats.
- spontaneous film photos. my favourites in the roll are always the ones that i forget taking in the first place. those times when you’re just walking somewhere and notice that the light falls perfectly, or the colours contrast well. also film photos that you know are gonna turn out shitty (compositionally speaking) but capture good memories. think: snaps of the half eaten dumplings you’ve shared with your friends
- walking with earphones out. i tend to drown out the world (mega cliche alert, sorry) when i’ve got my headphones in. and sometime’s that’s good. but most of the time it just makes me feel really detached from my surroundings. when i’m not listening to music i make a more conscious effort to be present and tune in. and i always feel more connected when i arrive where i need to be.
- patience. last year was all about learning to forgive myself. this year, it’s been more about learning how to be patient with myself. understanding that things take time and that’s perfectly okay. understanding that i don’t always need to be xyz straight away, and it’s alright to sometimes take the long way round. i’ve been learning to give myself the space i need and trusting that i’ll end up where i need to be, when i need to be.
and, my absolute fav:
- dropping TF outta law school. sorry dad.